


Religare

by titC



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Cain wants, Lucifer pines, M/M, Not True Love, Post 3x13, Yes I know, aimed for smut, but not for Cain, but not really Lucifer, but truth, first-person fic, not really smut in the end, they start a bit rough but mostly need a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 20:18:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13554816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/titC/pseuds/titC
Summary: Marcus / Cain & Lucifer heat it up, or they try to. There's too much stuff between them (including god) for a smooth seduction, Mr Talk-Too-Much and Mr Talk-Not-Enough have to find a middle ground. When you can't have what you want, you have to make do with what you do have... It's not true love, but it's important too.





	Religare

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PixelByPixel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixelByPixel/gifts).



> Thanks to PixelByPixel, who beta-ed this. *gasp* Two fics in a week!  
> Religare: Latin for to bind, to tie. But the working title was: Marky Mark. Don't take it too seriously ;-)

“Now really, how long has it been for you?”

I had to admit Lucifer was smooth, from the way his voice dropped just enough to flatter the ear to the touch of his fingers skimming around my waist.

“Long enough.”

“Too long?” I shrugged. Whatever. I didn’t really care about that stuff, these days. It was like, beer, food. Nice. A distraction. Didn’t matter. “Not even the thrill of just married sex?”

“I’ve been married before.” Granted, not to the Devil, so there was that.

He hummed in my neck, and damn it – he was good. His palms were warm, I couldn’t remember how my shirt had ended on the floor so soon, and I wasn’t afraid to hurt him. I couldn’t. “So it’s old, rehashed, re _heated_ same old same old for you?”

He was annoying. He was always annoying, but there were degrees, often correlated to the distance between him and me and – “Lucifer!”

“Yes, honeyyyy?” I wanted to punch his smug face, and I also wanted to do other things with it. He’d probably be on board with anything and right now he was carrying me like I weighed nothing. He was such a skinny bastard, and I’d forgotten for a moment he was also the son of God.

“Not…” I could hear the shortness in my breath, and it infuriated me even more. “Not many people have been able to do that.”

“Well, I’m all for providing new sensations, _Mark_.” And he didn’t sound affected in the slightest way, the jerk. Happy, proud of himself, and totally in control. And now somehow my pants and boxers were off, too; and he was still fully clothed; so I pushed him back on the mattress and started to undo his buttons. “Eager, aren’t we?” He raised an eyebrow, and my fist itched to connect with his face, except it would hurt me more than him.

“Shut up.” I straddled his stomach and looked down at his chest. “You’re a stringbean on chicken legs.”

“And you’re a brickhouse, yes. Very manly. Very…” His breath caught when I sat fully on him, and he smiled appreciatively. “Oooh, Lucifer likes.”

“What else do you like?”

“Hmm. Isn’t it usually my line?” I narrowed my eyes down at Lucifer and his too-smart mouth. “I like everything. Married sex seems like an exciting new thing, but I’m game for whatever you desire.”

“You’ve been married before.” I angled my body forward to rest a hand right under his throat, just to hint at what I could do. I started to put weight on it, little by little.

“It was a fake marriage.” That had sounded too normal, so I put a bit more pressure.

“I can’t imagine that was enough of a reason to _not_ have sex with her, if she was willing.”

“We…” He wheezed a little, and I let up just enough to let him finish. “We didn’t have that kind of relationship.”

“So you married a friend, to confuse the woman you lo – oof!” He’d somehow slithered out from under me, slammed me down on the bed and that was definitely not breath _play_.

“Do not mention her.” His nostrils flared, and I didn’t doubt that had he been in full possession of his nature I'd have had a good look at his other face right in that moment. “Ever. You are not worthy of her.” He took his hand away and rested it on my sternum instead, heavy and unmovable. “You endangered her, for your own selfish purposes.”

Ah. That. “I’d given clear instructions. She was safe.”

“Accidents happen, and you know it. You risked her life!” He was angry, but there was something else. I knew what it was. I’d seen it too often on my own face, time and time again. It was what had turned me into who I was, now.

“They all die, Lucifer. Each and everyone of them, sooner or later – they all die. And you can’t change that. You’ll never see them again.” I wrapped my hand around his wrist and tugged a little, and he let me take it away.

“I hate him,” he whispered.

“I know. Me too.” The sheets rustled as we moved to sit side by side, facing the floor to ceiling window. His fine wool pants were soft against my naked thigh and his belt buckle had clinked as he’d slid off of me; but what mood there had been had entirely disappeared. “She’s your Kryptonite, I know that.”

“I told you not to speak of her.”

“Fine.” Not like I had any wise advice to pass on anyway. “I’ll let myself out.” It wasn’t like we were going to have any heart-to-heart, was it? We weren’t like Lopez. Well, he did have a therapist, but still.

“Wait,” he said when I was picking up my boxer shorts.

“What now?”

“I…” He hadn’t moved from the bed, and I could see his face reflected in the glass. He seemed to be looking at the stars, except no stars were visible. Maybe he could still tell where they were, what they looked like. “I apologize for, ah. Almost crushing you.”

I smiled. “Wouldn’t have worked.”

“I meant – ”

“I know what you meant, stop scowling. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you either, just because you’re his son.”

His shoulders slumped, and his bony vertebrae poked under his skin. “I deserve it.”

“Not anymore than I do.”

“I’ve seen much worse than you in Hell. But I…”

“You what?” I’d gotten my hands on that stalker’s research – he’d called himself an investigative journalist, but really he’d been a stalker. I knew more than what Lucifer would imagine, and I didn’t want to tip my hand.

“I deserve it. All of it.”

“What did you do, had a shouting match with God? Yelled at him, got thrown out?” I slipped the boxers on and walked back to sit cross-legged on the bed. “You know, I get teens. I’ve fathered teenagers. They’re infuriating, but… You have to help them along until they get out of it. He was shitty to you.”

“I thought I would always be forgiven. I was too proud.”

“You were very young, as I was.”

“As _you_ were, yes.” Lucifer’s eyes closed, and I knew what was coming. “I killed Uriel just last year.” I didn’t say anything. “My brother. I stabbed him with Azrael’s blade, and… I saw him, when I went to Hell. I have my own cell there, now. _I deserve it_.”

“You got out, though.”

“I had help.”

“And a goal.” He’d saved Decker, but she’d saved him too.

“I killed my brother. I defied God. I cut off the wings to spite him and throw his bloody grace in his face. I am much, much worse than you.”

“You…” Fuck him. “Did you proposition me because you thought I might be into rough play? Because you wanted me to rough you up?”

“You couldn’t have hurt me.”

“I know where you stash your Hell-forged knife.”

“You needed to vent anyway, you’re too tense.”

“And you’re a disaster. Don’t make it about me.” Not that he was wrong, but I didn’t really want to admit fantasizing about knocking his teeth in lieu of his inaccessible father’s.

“You know, I could give you my therapist’s number. She might have tips to manage your anger.” Apathy was more my problem, but it wasn’t something he could understand.

And that was the fundamental difference between us, right there: he was created immortal, and for eternity to be less boring it meant his feelings were always fresh and sharp and new, as strong as the first day. It was a blessing, and it was a curse; it was eating at him and at the same time it would make Decker the most beloved woman on Earth when they sorted themselves out. But me… things were supposed to dull with time for us mortals, to make death less of a tragedy and more of a passing from one realm to another. That plan hadn’t been as well thought-out as God had believed, and most human beings clung to life. And here I was, now. Everything had turned to a bland, gray slush that I couldn’t escape, and that only grew blander and grayer and duller every year after year after century after eon. Because I couldn’t die.

“Okay,” I said. “Okay, why not.” His lips turned up a little, and I gave him a small smile too. I didn’t have it in me to do more than that, but it still felt strange and genuine. I couldn’t remember the last time it had happened – the honest smiling, or the comforting and being comforted, at the same time.

Maybe there were still good things for me here on Earth? For a minute then, he reminded me of Luke, the eccentric husband who was so enthusiastic about doing things right – about doing right, too. It hadn’t been that much of a role for him, after all. Maybe for just one night, we could pretend we were Mark and Luke, newlyweds, who fought over dish placement and were such polar opposites that they fit well together.

Maybe that would give us a bit of warmth for a few hours, even if it wasn’t what we really wanted. At least we really knew each other, at least it was sincere, heartfelt and without lies or ulterior motives, and that wasn’t something neither of us had ever had.

We both deserved it, for tonight.

 

 

 


End file.
